Do you ever feel as though you should really have been forgiven the stresses of existing for a day because it was so damn shitty? Today I do. And so, inspiring the raw and bitter pissed-off-ness that I’m feeling right now, it’s time for a reviewski on today. Please find below a checklist of the reasons today stank.
- Woke up very tired. The kind of tired that you know will never leave you. It’ll stalk you like a hyena, taking advantage of your tiredness to stoke all the negative feelings and make any problems ten times worse than they would be if you felt not tired. My eyes currently feel like tiny concentrated balls of sandpaper that are receding into my skull.
- Public transport. In this case, Southern Rail trains. They’re always fun, and especially so when you’re already in a foul mood. It was late, as per Southern’s guaranteed shitty service, and when the doors opened it was so packed that passengers were practically spilling out of the carriage. Great, gotta wheedle my way beneath some guy’s smelly armpit. Thank god it’s only a 10 minute ride. As it lurched and squealed away from the platform, I wondered whether it would even reach town under the weight of so many resentful commuters.
- Work. It all went tits up. As you’d expect when you’re already feeling grouchy and tired and not ready for the day. We’re currently having an absolute hell of a time getting the stupid credit card machine set up and it is driving me NUTS. We’ve tried every possible solution, but the bloody thing still won’t connect. It’s a new terminal too. I think I’ve lost part of my soul to either being on hold or explaining the same thing again and again down the phone line about the problems we’re having. And then there are the other things that can easily go wrong in a normal working day too, but wouldn’t have if the universe had kindly been less of a douchebag.
- Cake. I bet that was the last thing you thought I’d be mentioning as a bad thing! But yes, cake let me down. I signed up for what I thought sounded like a great event. And it is really. A charity event where you get to make a cake based on your favourite computer game! What could go wrong? Depending on how ambitious you are, everything and anything… I made a Teensie from the Rayman Legends game yesterday, which started out OK but ended up being very stressful for various reasons. One of those being the head. Teensies are very face heavy, and having secured as best I could the massive head to its body with cocktail sticks and edible glue, I had a sneaking suspicion that it would eventually fall off. These are the measures I took to try and keep the head up: Attractively positioned, huh? Who knew that tea bags and tissues could be so handy! And it actually worked for a while; look, he stands freely!However, it was not to last. The car journey into town was enough to loosen his head. Fully expecting to be disappointed, I was not disappointed with what I expected to see. Yes, Teensie head fall down. Ripping the icing with it. Hey ho, maybe I’ll get sympathy points for it later.
- Dinner. Normally, I don’t have a problem here. I love cooking and am quite a good cook, and usually I don’t drop stuff. But not today. Somehow, I ended up with half of my beany pasta sauce mix all over the floor. A few loud four-letter expletives may well have escaped my lips. It was the last thing that I needed. Especially as that kind of stuff always splatters far further than humanely possible. I think some reached the hallway.
- It’s been grey and miserable and rainy all day.
- I’m even more tired and dreading going out now. Which is a real shame as I was so looking forward to the evening.
*Sigh* A baker’s gotta do what a baker’s gotta do. Here I go. Grumpy and wishing I were tucked up on the sofa in my PJs watching something easy. It’ll be interesting to see what other people have made though and how creative they’ve been with their baking.
In terms of ratings, today gets a half drunk glass of rubbish red wine that sounded so good, with its promise of hints of vanilla with a rounded, plum flavour, but turned out to taste like an old man’s smoking jacket soaked in vinegar. Yuk.